Hello! I hope you all are well :) Well I am home from the hospital, I was discharged last week on Monday. I was in there for 22 days. It seems sad to say that I am so used to being hospitalized anymore that it didn't seem that long. I remember when I was younger, after 3 days I would pretty much be going crazy, crying, wanting to go home. Well I am home now, and coming back with a bang! Sorry - I feel like I should correct this, by "home" I mean I am at my moms house out in Bella Vista (about 30 minutes from town), because she feels better that I come back to her place when I am on IV's, plus I am living by myself right now and I don't have my handsome husband to help me out. Being sick and doing IV's around the clock can actually be pretty exhausting.

They sent me home on IV Doripenem, 3x/day. 8am, 4pm, 12am is my schedule. It works with me, I tend to stay up late usually, but sometimes I cheat and take it an hour early at night (11pm) because I am just darn tired. I have been doing my vest consistently now for about two months. I can really feel a difference. I am also on Azithromycin 250mg 1x/day and oral Zyvox 2x/day. I should be done with all my antibiotics by next Monday.

This brings me to my next topic. About 3 months ago, I got my first port-a-cath! It is located on the left side of my chest, above my breast and right below my collar bone. The first month I had it, I had no need for it to be accessed so I wasn't familiar on what it was like and what the actual 'procedure' was to access it. When I was just recently admitted to the hospital, they had an oncologist nurse access it for me. Since it hadn't been access or flushed since the day that I had it put in, they had run into a little bit of problems. They had to put some stuff into it, I forget what it's called... basically it's like mega heparin, and you let it sit for a while, then, about 30 minutes later, they try to draw back, and if it is successful, you can draw the blood back into the line. My port has been drawing back good since, so that's good. When they access my port, all they do is spray it with this cold spray, which basically is so cold, it numbs the area... I wouldn't say it numbs it as well as a emla cream patch or a lidocane shot, but it does the trick. They hold the port with their thumb and index finger, and they have the needle, count to three, I take a deep breathe, and then wala, it's in! Soooo much easier than any IV or PICC i've had. Even easier than the broviach. Out of it's pros and cons, I would definitely say I love it more than I hate it. It doesn't stick near as far out of my chest as it does in some patients and when I wear my bra, my boobs are supported enough to where you can't see it in the least bit. Just a tiny scar at the top, which will fade in time. I just have to make sure I keep it clean and dry, and free of infections!

And on that last sentence brings me to my NEXT topic... I always tape my IV's up when I shower, i'm not THAT stupid lol. But I seriously have the biggest issues with tape. I find that the tape that works the best for me is the see-through tape that pretty much hurts like a bitch when you rip it off. Yeah it hurts, but I'd rather keep the site clean and dry than have tape that doesn't work very well. I tape a piece of a decent sized folded saran wrap square over my site, and then cover that with foam tape. I don't know why they even make that foam tape. It really sucks, and I think nurses just assume that it is water proof, because it feels like it would be. The adhesive on that tape is a joke. Long story short, I wrapped my line up all nice to take a shower on Sunday, and it got SOAKED, and not only did the dressing get wet, but the actual dressing itself had gotten water in it, and since the dressing cannot form a seal perfectly around the port because it is not perfectly flat, there is basically space and air around the port needle itself, so water managed to crawl it's way in there and literally saturate my needle. My needle was swimming in water pretty much. It wasn't like it was just damp with condensation, it went full on titanic. Naturally I was freaking out, because I just really don't want to have to deal with an infected port right now with everything else going on in my life, well I never do on that note, but you know. So I did the first logical thing I could think of, and got my new port needle dressing kit out. Well I don't access my needle myself so there is no way in hell I was going to do that. But I have cleaned my broviach and PICCS before, so I figured this wouldn't be too different. I washed my hands thoroughly, put on my mask, and then took the choloraprep sponge and wiped all around the area, and had the edge of the sponge thing touch the needle that was poking out of my chest. I let it dry for about 3 minutes and put the dressing on it. Everything seemed to go smoothly, although I was so paranoid about getting an infection. Most people told me to change the port needle right away, but I just kept a close watch on it and everything was fine. No redness, tenderness, swelling, fevers, nothing that clues infection. :) Yay! Plus I got my needle changed yesterday because it had been 7 days, so I think we are all good!

Well other than all that, I am feeling pretty good still and I am weaning off my oxygen :) But I am still sleeping with it at night! My weight has been good, and I think I am strong enough now to start doing exercises on the Wii again! Nick comes home in 31 days, so I wanna be in tip top sexy ass shape ;) Lol! If I can't be nice looking on the inside, I at least want to fake it on the outside.

xx

I hate being being sick ALL the time. It's horrible. I am a jealous mean person when I am sick. Nick gets to go to all these fabulous places, like DC on the 4th of July, and last weekend he was going to theme parks.. all while I am stuck here. It's true, misery loves company... and when I am miserable, I hate hearing about peoples amazing lives. I know I sound like a mentally messed up bitch, but it's how I feel... and the point of a blog, is to write how you feel.

I want to have some fucking fun too. The only fun I ever get to look forward to is my next pain pill.
I just want to go home now. Home home, not my moms house, but home.